No Title....

I couldn't really think of a title since I didn't really know what I was going to write about. So, I basically need to vent a bit. I really am excited to get this surgery on and over with. Really, my hips have been impacting my life for way too long and I am sick of it being an ever consuming thought. Being in pain all of the time is physically and emotionally draining as well. I am tired all of the time. Which is a combination of studying, stress, and pain. It will be great to get these next couple of weeks over with so that I can attack my hip recovery head on! I am super pumped at the chance to get my hip fixed.

I am starting to think of my surgery more. I wonder how it will differ compared to the previous ones I have had. I will be in a brace for six weeks with two to three weeks non-weight-bearing. All of which are different than my previous two scopes. I wonder if I will be in TED hose. I assume that I will be since they are very precautious here in the States compared to back home. Last two surgeries I was never in any sort of hose, no brace, no period of weight bearing, not even any physiotherapy protocol! I hope that there is more structure to this surgery and its recovery! I think that taking things very, VERY easy is the key. I will do my best to let the recovery take its course and not rush into things (ie trying to walk fully weight bearing after 5 days like the last two times!).

2 weeks!!!

This means that I only have fourteen days until I get my hip fixed. I cannot wait. Last night I was in so much pain from sitting all day that I could barely cope sitting down to study that I had to stop and go to bed. Grrr. This is not good. I only have to study for four more days, then write my 8 hour exam (which will really help the hip; not!) And then I have so much to do that hopefully I won't have time to think about my hip.

I just booked the hotel for my parents and I for July 5th, 6th, and 7th. We got a deal through the hospital that takes off $50 each night, which is much appreciated. I requested a room that is closest to the lobby as possible. They have wheelchairs too, so getting me to the room shouldn't be a problem.

Looking at the time, I will almost exactly be in surgery in two weeks. My surgery is scheduled from 10:00am until noon. Eek!

Hooooooolding On

Oh man, with the stress of my board exam coming up, I literally sit on my butt all day studying. Like from 9:00 in the morning until 12:00 midnight. I really can't afford to do any less sitting but oh my goodness does my hip detest this amount of time being flexed at, around 90 degrees!

Today I canceled my follow-up with my previous surgeon. I had another appointment with him scheduled for July 11th, but since I am having surgery with another surgeon on July 7th, I am pretty sure that I 'can't make' my originally scheduled appointment with my surgeon back home. The secretary was going to reschedule me, but I said that I'd get back to her if I needed another appointment in the future. She was fine with this and, that was that. I probably won't go back to my initial surgeon again since I am having this hip fixed up for good (hopefully).

I can't believe how fast my hip has deteriorated. It has gone from a bit of an annoyance to full blown throbbing all of the time, inability to sit still, and even has started to cause me to limp more than I am able to consciously hide all within a couple of months. I certainly hope that all there is in there is a tear and they can fix it because this is so drastically different than my previous two labral tears.

I was thinking about this today, both my previous two surgeries were done so that I could go back to living an active lifestyle. Yes, my hips hurt, and it needed to be done, but it was more for a physical activity level reason than for a desperate attempt to store pain-free functioning in the activities of daily living. This surgery is for the latter, to restore my ability to just function. At this point I could care less if I ever ran again, I just want to be able to sit, walk, and stand without pain! Anything else is a cherry on the top! For goodness sakes, I think I'll run into surgery with a fat smile on my face excited to start off the new adventure of getting better and back to being able to live without pain.

Bad Move :)

I decided a couple of weeks ago that it would be a good idea to paint my toe nails in gold sparkles. Now, for anybody who doesn't know, having a sore hip and trying to paint and remove nail polish from toe nails is a feat in and of itself. I hate doing it because the pain hurts so much I have to hold my breath. But, beauty still wins and I always have my nails painted; especially my toe nails. I digress, I painted them with sparkles: cute, fun, summer-like:

It is kinda blurry since I took the picture with my iPod, but, they do shine a bit.

Well, it is all chipping off now and I can't get the sparkles off because you really gotta scrub it off and I simply can't do it :( So I am stuck with half-on sparkles until my Mum comes down to where I am going to school to take it off. But then, she is coming just for my surgery, so I'll have to have it off anyway. I should have thought about my inability to flex my hip past 90* before I smothered my toe nails with sparkles.

Getting a Bit Nervous

I know that I am only going to be having a hip scope done, but it has just started to hit me that I will be having to have surgery yet again, and I am getting pretty nervous. I have already done this twice and feel like I should be a pro at this, yet, I am still nervous.

I know that others are having more major surgeries (like PAO) and I am thankful that I am not having to have that done, but I am still apprehensive about having surgery. I think that it is more of the post-op pain and rehab that I am dreading. I am dreading having to be on crutches for 6 weeks, I am dreading being in a brace for 6 weeks. Basically I am dredding the entire process. I realize that I can't keep living like this, but I really don't want surgery again. blaaah.

22 days left

As I sit here and study whilst resting on a heating pad and throbbing, I think to myself - "ONLY 22 MORE DAYS!" Scary and exciting. I really, really need this done, much more than my previous two scopes. It is getting ridiculous to have the hip being so bothersome all of the time.

I am arranging to pick up crutches from my best friend. Although they are not the ergonomic ones, they are the normal ones but are made of aluminum so they are fairly light and manageable. I will definitely be a pro at these crutches since I've had to use them a total of 8 weeks prior to this. So, by the end of 6 weeks this summer, I'll be able to go out dancing on crutches. (well, not really, but point stands, I will be an expert!)

So in the next 22 days I get to: take my medical board exam, move out of my apartment, have surgery, drive/move back home. Can somebody fast forward these next couple of weeks? Please?!?

Reminder Why I Need Surgery so Badly

You know, sometimes I really just wish I was a normal mid-twenty year old who didn't have to live in pain all of the time. Tonight was a really bad night for me. I went to my boyfriend's family-gathering which was held outside. It was really fun, but it got cold, and I started to tense up, and now I hurt like, well, lets just say I hurt a lot. I took two muscle relaxants and now am lying on a heating pad but my groin hurts so much I can barely stand it. I don't remember being in this much pain prior to either of my previous two hip surgeries. Which makes me worried that things are more damaged inside than before.

I can hardly stand this anymore and can't wait to get this all fixed up so that I can move on with life. I sometimes come across other people's blogs and they haven't posted in such a long time, and I think to myself that maybe one day I won't have to post on here to vent my feelings and concerns about my hips because one day I will have two healthy hips. Oh, I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't had any hip issues. It would be totally different!

1 MONTH!!!! eek!

One month right now I will be in surgery (almost done!!! actually since I am scheduled to be in the OR from 10:00 am to 12:00pm). Honestly, it makes my stomach flip to think that I'll be getting fixed up RIGHT NOW in 4 weeks. Craziness!

I can't wait to get it done because I can't keep living like this, but I am absolutely terrified since I know how crappy it will be afterwards and how much work the physio will be after to recover.

Some Sleep

Yesterday I called the pharmacist to see if there was anything that I could take that was over-the-counter to aid in my sleeping. She recommended that I double my dosage of muscle relaxant and acetaminophen before bed. I did this last night and I could finally fall asleep within a reasonable time period. I was a bit groggy this morning, but that might be because I didn't actually get to be early enough last night.

Gosh, only 33 more days of this hip pain before I can get fixed. I am strangely excited to get this over with!

Hopefully third time is a charm! LOL

One Year Post-Op

Today marks the day that I had my left hip scope. Actually, I was in surgery a year ago to the exact time I am posting this. When I went in for that surgery I was so excited to get my hip fixed because my first scope worked out perfectly.

But, things are still worse than they were than when I had my last scope. It is so sad to be in so much pain all of the time. Honestly, it sucks because I continually am thinking about my hip and now I can't even get to sleep without taking pain relievers + muscle relaxants. I have tried to fall asleep without taking the meds but last night I tossed and turned for over an hour and finally gave in and took them. When the throbbing stopped I was able to get to sleep.

So, in a year I have done another year of medical school and mustered up the hip to being worse off. So, I have one month and five days until my revision scope with my different surgeon. I am terrified to get it done now because what if this scope doesn't help? It has to help! Ugh.

Well, I should get my butt out of bed and get my day into gear.